Three politicians that will change Europe – for better or for worse.

eurosceptics

from left: Nigel Farage, Marine Le Pen and Beppe Grillo

They’re popular and appealing to young, disenchanted EU voters that in 60 days from now will decide who represents them best in Brussels. Will UKIP, the 5 Star Movement and Front National be the Trojan horse for the European Union?

Two months. On May 25th European voters will cast their ballots to elect a new European parliament that will most likely witness the end of the duopoly center-right/center-left we grew accustomed to.

According to recent electoral polls, the pro-European profile of the EU Parliament will shift towards a more Eurosceptic outline with the rise of three major political parties (or movements) that could wreck the fragile EU integration process.

Nigel Farage’s UKIP, Marine Le Pen’s Front National and Beppe Grillo’s 5 Star Movement are predicted to be the real winners of this year’s EU elections with an average of 20% of preferences each.

The newest electoral polls available show that UKIP might grab 23% of the British votes, Front National 20% and the 5 Star Movement 21.3%.

Enormous figures for Eurosceptic, nationalist, anti-immigration parties that reflect Europe’s increasingly restive electorate.

However, it is way too early to attempt precise projections for seat numbers at the European elections (due, mainly, to the varied electoral systems in each country) but, according to current trends, it is possible that this anti-EU bloc might get something in between 120 and 165 out of the 766 seats available at the European Parliament.

These seats are likely to be divided among these three parties and other hard right movements such as Greece’s Golden Dawn and Hungary’s Jobbik.

If Grillo and Le Pen’s relationship remains tense, it is no secret that Farage is trying to seduce Italy’s 5 Star Movement to team up in Parliament.

Will they succeed in dismantling European institutions and tear apart the single European currency? Not quite but if political inaction continues on both European and member States level, they could trigger a difficult de-integration process that could change the very heart of the European system.

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It’s not what it looks like! European phone conversations are pretty boring.

something more

Mr. Obama enjoys the view on Europe. photo courtesy El Jueves

This week it came out the American government has been listening extensively to our phone calls, reading our emails and finishing the toilet paper in European bathrooms without replacing the roll.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel didn’t take it well and she has made clear that “Friends don’t spy on each other”. Friends are only allowed to switch girlfriends every once in a while – not spy, though.

The US government released a statement saying that “Merkel’s phone conversations were boring anyhow”, in fact a couple of NSA agents committed suicide after spending the last three years listening to the German Chancellor calling the local wurstel and sauerkraut delivery place across the street to get lunch.

Plenty of other NSA agents quitted their job a couple of years ago: they are now running a well-known brothel on the outskirts of Milan, providing girls to former Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi. After spending years and years listening to Berlusconi’s conversations, they had their phone book filled with call-girls and escorts cell phone numbers so they decided to undertake a more lucrative business.

Even Spain was targeted by the NSA but for a whole other reason: the US wanted to know how a country can sustain itself while taking so many siestas. NSA, Nasa and Stephen Hawking are still busy doing the math and it seems they haven’t come up with a solution just yet. NSA tried to ask physicist Peter Higgs to solve this incomprehensible paradox but he replied that discovering God’s particle was surely easier.

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